The associated website is called brotherly-love and explains that they’re real twins and some of the 10-second bits were shot in Iran. What did I tell you?When they use their phones, bubbles emerge in a Lloyd Bridges/Jacques Cousteau way. So it’s exotic twins, who live underwater in a nice blue flat with no apparent means of support Girls come to the door and they send each other pictures “This is 4 U” etc, etc. Do they share them? I knew identical twins who shared girls once. They saw it as a victimless crime.Peter sru.co.uk. The church has been booked, the bridesmaids are on standby and the flowers ordered.

But the marriage of Carlton and Granada is not yet blessed by the most imposing vicar of them all – the Competition Commission. The BBC’s strength is growing, as is that of the multitude of upstart channels on digital TV. If that trend continues, Carlton and Granada cannot face life alone in the long term, despite a good financial performance in the first half of the year.But the regulator has set an onerous pre-nuptial agreement, leaving the lovers wondering what price they might have to pay to be together.In the middle of May, the pre-nup, better known as the “remedies statement”, was proposed. It was seen as harsh on the merger, and last week Carlton and Granada were locked in secret talks to try and reach a compromise. But time is short: the Commission must file a report to the Government on 25 June, which will then have a month to make the announcement on whether the union can go ahead.Deregulation is in the air. Last week the American watchdog, the Federal Communications Commission, said US TV firms could merge until they had up to 45 per cent of the total audience share in the country. It said there was such a wide range of different channels that there would still be effective competition.That move looks generous given that a combined ITV has just 23.8 per cent of the UK audience.

But the issue over here is not the number of viewers but the way ITV sells slots for ads. In the UK, with the dominant BBC not showing commercials, advertisers have little choice but to turn to ITV to get a big audience.At the moment Carlton and Granada share around half of the TV ad spend in the UK, and the prospect of a merger has caused uproar. Advertisers argue that ITV would be able to charge whatever it wanted for its commercials, and they would have no choice but to pay up.The Commission appears to agree. In its remedies statement, it proposed that Carlton and Granada’s two sales operations be spun off and run as independent companies. The idea prompted a public protest from Carlton’s boss, Michael Green.”Turning a dysfunctional relationship with two companies into a dysfunctional relationship with three companies is even worse,” says Anthony de Larrinaga, media analyst at SG Securities.There were several half-hearted compromises in the pre-nup.