“She’s always being horrible to me; she kicks and punches me,” she admits.”She is better than me at things like maths But we’re both good at horse- riding. I’d like to be better than her at that, just to show her.”Felicity is a middle child but clearly displays more second-child tendencies. Feelings of inferiority can inspire the second to outdo the first in academic areas, but they will usually find something else to be good at.This position in the pecking order will also give you less respect for the established order, unlike the older sibling trying to be like the adults There will be nothing to be gained from it. The behaviour of these children will, in short, generally lean towards that which attracts attention, and they will more than likely have a more relaxed attitude to life. Sibling rivalry is also common.Felicity Carter, seven, is already at the sharp end of sibling rivalry with her sister, Nicola. In retrospect, I think that if we’d left it longer before we slept together, we might have stayed together longer, but it hasn’t left me with any bad feelings.The experience I had on holiday was completely different He was 19 and working in his parents’ bar It was pure lust and only happened once.

But I do get jealous when she gets something I want, even if she’s saved up her money and I haven’t.”I’m quite serious really, but sometimes I do silly things, and people look at me. It annoys me that people expect you to be grown-up all the time just because you’re the eldest.”But it’s good being able to boss the others around – and I don’t get hand-me-down clothes,” she says of Felicity and younger brother Elliot, aged four.The second child is most commonly identified as taking the opposite line to their older sibling. She was also far more outgoing than me, with an active social life. I was less confident and much more level-headed and sensible.”Nicola Carter, nine, can remember clearly how she felt when her younger sister Felicity arrived six years ago.”I didn’t want to share anything with her,” she says “I suppose I’ve got used to it now.

As you grow up, this can lead to feelings of never being good enough, but with or without this insecurity, you’ll probably be a high achiever because you’re trying so hard.”"I have one clear memory of my sister Jane arriving on the scene,” says Julie, 31, a civil servant. “I was two and a half, and I climbed into her carry-cot when she wasn’t in it and lay down. I think I must have wanted to be the baby again, and get all the attention she was getting.”I was quite like my mum and dad – they’re both teachers with a strong art bias, and I became quite arty, too,” says Julie “I went on to study graphic design But Jane was into numbers and computers. You receive all their attention, but all their expectations are also heaped on you.”When child number two arrives,” she explains, “there will be a fear of the withdrawal of your parents’ love and, more than likely, a noticeable reduction in the amount of attention they give you. This is when you will start to try to please adults, to become even more like them – conservative and responsible – in an effort to win back what you’ve lost. “A girl with a sister two years her senior will be closer to the model of the second child than a girl with a brother 10 years older, who might well display more of the characteristics of a first or only child.”As a first child, according to Berthoud, you will probably adopt some of your parents’ behaviour and generally be quite “grown-up”.

“But I am a journalist and I wanted to stand it up myself,” she says Hundreds of interviews later, she had her proof. “Without exception, everyone I spoke to displayed the characteristics of their position in the family pecking order.”But she is quick to point out that there are many variables, dictated most notably by age gap and the gender of the children. But it was, he said, birth order and relationship with siblings that was the single most reliable predictor of human behaviour.
Joy Berthoud, author of a new book, Pecking Order, had read and been convinced by research confirming this. Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychiatrist and former disciple of Freud, acknowledged environmental influences such as social class, geographic origin and relationship with parents as factors in the development of personality.