Now that truly is a marriage of heaven and hell.Runs until 16 May (box office: 01722-320333). It’s the largest of the parrots, with a native habitat in the Pantannal region of central Brazil.
Unfortunately, it is prized by collectors, and its numbers have declined dramatically as a result of trapping and habitat loss, such that only a few thousand birds remain in the wild. EVERY birdwatcher has a list of birds to be “ticked” – that is, seen in the wild. Some rate higher than others; sometimes, a keen watcher will travel hundreds of miles for a glimpse of a breed. Suddenly I became The Woman Who Had Been Wearing the Great Hat Suddenly I was less glamorous Less interesting Cinderella after midnight.

“Oooh! LOVE the hat!” “AMAZING hat!” “VERY nice” and other low-key but deeply gratifying compliments trickled my way. But this was nothing to the praise received after my lovely accessory had been hastily rushed back to the shop (they needed it for a show for the Kensington and Chelsea Women’s Association, and it seemed ungrateful to complain) My hair was obviously a disappointment “Oh dear What happened to your BEAUTIFUL hat?” etc. Alternatively, you could abase yourself in the lower reaches of features journalism and simply borrow a couture hat for the afternoon.Although I didn’t have a price ticket on the outside there is something about every model hat that screams Money To Burn. I begin to wonder if (stretched over a frugal 10 years of use) pounds 290 is so very much to pay for a hat after all …Louise LeveneStephen Jones, 36 Great Queen Street, London WC2 (0171 242 1770). I can say this with total confidence because I saw four women in it last Saturday at a frightfully smart wedding and they all looked divine. But if you’re planning to wear one this spring you might ring round and check first, unless you all intend to get together and regale the congregation with a chorus of “Where Did You Get That Hat?” The wisest course for those in search of exclusivity would be a plain straw hat and a tenner well spent in John Lewis’s trimmings department. There is a beautiful hat currently on sale in Marks and Spencer composed almost entirely of stripped black turkey feathers masquerading very creditably as marabou Ravishing, dramatic, reasonably priced (pounds 45) And it suits absolutely everybody.

Finally I settle on a navy blue gauze flowerpot affair neatly encrusted with tiny white plastic tiles, which we decide matches my personality (which is navy blue and covered with little bits of plastic).
One of the many, many nice things about wearing a hat that sells for an obscene pounds 290 – even if it isn’t really your own – is that no one else will turn up in the same one This is not the case with lesser millinery. To the rescue came Stephen Jones, with the opportunity to borrow a hat from his Covent Garden showroom. I have a long chat with Jemima in a room filled with various oddities composed of small hairbands being attacked by large satin worms. Others are more in the Gateau Saint Honore vein with clouds of gauze and feathers but, much as I yearn to go the full Cecil Beaton, there is a strict (if seldom observed) mathematical rule that prevents any woman under 5ft 8in wearing any hat larger than a family- sized pizza. Between nuptials and the odd trip to Henley, it sits on one of the many busts of Napoleon that adorn the bedroom but this time, when I got it down, it fell apart in my hands.